On March 31, 1999, the teen comedy “10 Things I Hate About You” premiered in theatres across North America. It starred the late and great Heath Ledger, Julia Stiles and Joseph Gordon-Levitt.

While this blog post has very little to do with that film, I did enjoy that movie. I also like to complain, and it gives my blog a catchy title. Besides, 10 is an easy enough read and seems fairly non-committal.

After further research, I realized my blog post and its title have more similarities. “10 Things” is a film adaptation of William Shakespeare’s “The Taming of the Shrew.” In case you’re wondering what exactly a Shrew is:

“Use the noun shrew — at your own risk — to refer to a woman who is argumentative, nagging, and ill tempered.”

What a perfect match for this post! For me! Pleased with my newly found correlation, I refuse to acknowledge the hundreds of other online mentions implying a Shrew is widely considered an aging whore.

I digress.

So, how did we get to this blog post?

For the last several months, during these “unprecedented times”, I have been adding blog topic ideas to a note on my phone; meticulously recounting conversations and observations to one day share with society.

Armed with ambition, insomnia and subsequent time on my hands, I present to you; the following list of things that bother me. Posted in order of recollection.

  1. Piss Talkers. You know who I’m talking about. The ones who feel like it’s perfectly normal to speak to you while peeing occurs. I’m in a stall for privacy purposes. Once the river flows, the chatter needs to stop. If I’m pissin’, don’t be dissin’…
  2. Alleged hand soap bargains! Buy 6 bottles for $24! I don’t need 6, I need 1! That I will only use for when company comes. And nobody’s coming around these days. Hot take: If you stay at home, you don’t need to wash your hands…and you can use the $ saved to tip the beer delivery guy.
  3. When athletes wear the number “0.” Are they dead inside? Self-esteem issues? Even Lightning McQueen has a number! Pick something.
  4. Pizza Saboteurs. Occurs when a group orders pizza and one person only wants veggies. An entire pizza is tainted for this frail person to be full after one slice.
  5. People that don’t stay at Weddings. What exactly are you rushing home for? Did you miss your own boring life? Was there better food, drink, live music? Probably not.
  6. “Boyfriend Style” clothing. How is this an actual category of style? What does that even mean? Does the item I want to purchase smell like Axe and despair? If I’m single, does boyfriend style suggest the clothes are translucent?
  7. The GOP. The “Grand Old Party.” Otherwise known as Republicans. Heard too much from these folk the last few years. Also; I’m respectfully requesting we stop pronouncing the individual letters and call them the GO-Pees… or Gawhps. Because it sounds stupid. It’s fitting.
  8. Restaurants that personify meat. When your mascot is an animal and I’m about to eat it, a small part of me has regret. I just waived at the guy in the chicken suit making minimum wage. Now I’m about to eat him. Doesn’t seem right.
  9. Pitas. Pitas are just underachieving burritos.
  10. Scene sharers. Occurs when someone asks if you’ve watched a certain show or movie. You say no. They then say something like “Oh, it’s really good!!” and proceed talk about the show for an obscene amount of time while you continue to “Zoom Smile” through their god awful recount which affirms why you don’t watch that show in the first place.
  11. People who justify their crappy behaviour because of their astrological sign. You don’t have to figure out who these people are, they’ve already told you.
  12. Pets with stupid names. Fluffy…Noodles…Princess…Sparky…Cholera. You get the point.
  13. Android Users. For more details, See #11.
  14. Subscription renewal reminders that don’t scream “ALERT! MORON! YOU’RE ABOUT TO GET CHARGED!” As someone that avoids calendar reminders as much as car alarms, I find this inconsiderate.
  15. When people text from their phone and you can hear each individual key. Click click click. Settings. Sound. Keyboard Clicks. Fix that. And, you’re welcome.
  16. Prep bowls and dishes. Why do people want to mess up even more things? Use your eyes like everyone else does!
  17. How come no one tells you deodorant has an expiration date? I hate to tell you this, but the people that are taking two years to use up a single bottle of deodorant… it’s not working.
  18. When someone tells you “Have a safe flight.” Unless they are a Pilot or Air Marshall, they cannot control the flight’s safety. Suggest saying “Hopefully we will chat again!” or “I’m gonna pray for you” are far more pragmatic.
  19. Barstools. I’m not skinny. I also have low arch feet and lower back pain. Sitting at a bar stool for an extended period of time makes me feel and look like a crippled pigeon.
  20. “Well, you haven’t had MY Brussel Sprouts…” Inevitably, when someone tries to coerce you into a type of food you don’t like. No, I haven’t had YOUR Brussel Sprouts and yes I would like to keep it that way. Thanks Karen.
  21. Complimenting someone about an accessory and they respond with a comprehensive monologue about purchasing details and how the scarf was made from sustainable fabric from fermented Goat’s Milk in Botswana.
  22. When someone tells me; “Ooh it’s really easy! You just….” then proceeds to give instructions that affirm it is in fact not easy. That’s why I asked you. Please don’t insult my stupidity.
  23. Tiny Pockets on breast area of women’s clothing. That area doesn’t need accentuation.
  24. When people say “PeKHANS”
  25. Social Media “friend” suggestions. There’s a reason I haven’t added these people to my network.
  26. Having to watching people open presents at a baby shower/ wedding shower. Especially if there’s a gift registry! Unless these events are licensed, respect your guests so they stay at your wedding for the entire time. 🙂