Once upon a time, four very bright, very attractive, and wonderfully congenial women adventurers conquered an escape room!

The End.

If you wanted the Coles notes version, you can stop reading here.

I told you to stop.

For real.

What’s the matter with you?

Pfft.

Stubborn beyond measure.

Definite good bones for an escape room.

I like you.

I will tell you the real story.

Once upon a time, our fearsome four decided to venture to an escape room.

Actually, it’s always the same person’s idea but you get the point.

The adventure started with a link sent to the group chat.

Annabelle Escape room.

Annabelle being the haunted porcelain doll from the horror film of the same name.

Participating in this Escape room seemed foolish. Horrifying. Disturbing.

All of the above!

“Let’s do it!”

With a team record of 1-2, I was looking to get to .500.

A couple weeks later, we set off for our adventure.

That morning, my dad asked “What’s an Escape room?”

I excitedly explain;

“So you go to this place with a group of people, and you each pay about thirty dollars, and they lock you in a room for an hour. You gotta figure out how to get out by figuring out puzzles and clues! If you get out before the hour, you win!”

Equal parts introverted, process oriented, and frugal, my Dad is clearly unimpressed.

“Why you gotta do that?!!” He probably started counting the number of tomato plants and spins he can play at the penny slots while I was explaining.

“It’s fun!” I say.

The thought occurs to me that maybe I gave a shoddy explanation.

If I wanted to be trapped someplace for an extended amount of time, at least at work they pay you.

My dad google earthed the place and mutters about the distance.

A few hours later, we’re off on our adventure!

I’m quite nervous about this one.

The thought of being locked up with a possessed doll is kinda terrible when you think about it.

We spend most of the ride there laughing and trying to freak each other out.

“CLOSE MY DOOR OPEN YOUR MIND”

With a tag line like that, how could things go wrong?

I sorta sensed things were gonna go astray when we reported to reception and were greeted by a dog named “Hoo-hoo.”

Little did I know, the dog would be the most articulate staff member.

With each of our protagonists proclaiming to be ready; we walk towards the room in what can only be described as revered trepidation.

The room is pitch black.

We are given flashlights.

Our host begins to share the intro/ story.

Typically, this is the part of the game where you should be paying the most attention.

Our host described the overview in broken English.

Severed to the point of incomprehension.

A second indicator of trouble ahead occurred when during the description, all of us were busy scanning the room for live action characters ready to scare us.

My mind was so far removed from the intro, I didn’t realize he was done talking until he closed the door.

The Escape room was good concept in theory, poor in execution.

Several of the props were in bad shape. So much so, they wouldn’t work to advance our progress.

The same goes for one of the doors that was supposed to pop open but didn’t.

Time is money in an Escape room, and that process cost us about $9.

The sequence of puzzles was for lack of a better term, puzzling.

Puzzles should be cohesive and sequential.

At one point, two team members were forced to be a locked in a room to complete a puzzle.

The remaining two were there staring at the clock with nothing to do.

Calling in for hints led to frustration as the host mumbled clues which were hard understand, especially with feedback from a walkie talkie.

We were warned prior to starting that 3 or more hints would be considered a failed mission.

The seven stages of Escape-roomitis at play.

Step 1-Anticipation: We can do this!!

Step 2-Exhilaration: Omg, we’re doing this!!

Step 3-Confusion: What the hell is this?!!

Step 4-False Hope: We can STILL do this!!!

Step 5-Frustration: (See Step 3)

Step 6-Acceptance: We’re not gonna do this.

Step 7-Fail: Nobody in their right mind can do this!!!

78 minutes after our adventure begun, we ended up back in the main foyer.

Hoo-hoo giving us a look of disgust.

We went into the darkness proud, hopeful and brave.

We resurfaced without confidence but still with our sense of humour intact.

We embraced the Canadian Olympian motto: “It only matters if you’re having fun.”

In life, it doesn’t matter if you fail.

Whatever you did, you were able to tell the story.

That being said, it kinda matters if you cut out the #fail sign from the team photo.

🙂